Awkscars | Hollywood Fashions

Word: Awkscars
Meaning: The Oscars, now with 90 per cent more wtf-ness.
Usage: “More like the AWKSCARS. Everything is so f***ing awkward! I love it!” — a tweet by Aubrey Plaza, who awesomely goes by @evilhag.
You should know it because: Did you watch it? I thought of not watching it, but come on. I can’t not participate in this ritual mass sacrifice of human dignity and self-respect; it’s the price we share for living in the 21st-century first world. Plus, Twitter. Speaking of which, how clever is the sardonic babe-actor Aubrey Plaza? Pretty clever and pretty accurate. Maybe I’m getting smarter (doubtful), but this Oscars felt like the dumbest and funniest ever, and not the ha-ha funniest either. More like… full-body-cringe funniest.
When a red-carpet reporter asked Rooney Mara how she was recovering from her role as Lisbeth Salander, and she looked at him like he was a delivery man who brought her the wrong pizza, and said “It’s just a job?” AWKSCARS. (And true: for all its glories, acting is a job… unlike red-carpet reporting.) When Sacha Baron Cohen ash-bombed Ryan Seacrest so that now when he’s asked who he’s wearing, he can say “Kim Jong-Il“? AWKSCARS. When Tina Fey and her Bridesmaids cohorts had to pretend to be really excited for Billy Cryptstal (yes, I spelled that right; the mothereffer is OLD) to do a “jazzy” opening sequence? AWKSCARS. When Viola Davis and Octavia Spencer had to play “strong black female characters” all night and also look overjoyed whenever another black person was on stage? AWKSCARS. I mean, jesus, stop profiling; nobody cuts to the black widow spiders in the audience when Angelina Jolie comes on stage. Speaking of which, when Angelina Jolie’s right leg threatened to secede from the rest of her body and start its own career (see: @angiesrightleg)? SO AWKSCARS. When Gwyneth Paltrow tried to come off as relatable and self-deprecating? CRAZY AWKSCARS, and when 10 minutes later Emma Stone completely decimated every other far more seasoned actor in pure terms of humour and guts, it got still more AWKSCARS. It seemed there would be no end to the tiny humiliations. Then Christopher Plummer won, and then Meryl Streep won, and both gave such super human speeches that we all forgot how truly bad the ceremony was… until The Artist. Seriously? A Best Picture that isn’t even a film? AWKSCARS OUT.

And the game of musical chairs continues! Stefano Pilati will leave Yves Saint Laurent following the Fall 2012 show in Paris | Hollywood Fashions

Just three days after the Raf for Jil swap, Yves Saint Laurent has announced that creative director Stefano Pilati will leave the company’s helm following the collection’s Fall show later this week in Paris.
Pilati’s ride at YSL has been a bit of a bumpy one with critically inconsistent collections. But despite a lack of support from YSL heavyweights (Yves Saint-Laurent himself once told WWD, “Some of what he does is good. Some of it is not so good.”), Pilati has rocketed the house towards considerable commercial success (though not quite at Gucci-era Tom Ford levels) with his conception of hit accessories like the Muse bag and Tribute shoe. More than a feat in these financial times, right?
Of course, the rumour mill (having proven it’s shady credibility with the Jil Sander hullaballoo) is still churning; the latest gossip is that YSL-alum and enigmatic fashion darling Hedi Slimane will fill Pilati’s (debatably large) shoes.
Whoa—Slimane at YSL? Pinch us, please! With his super-sleek, androgynous aesthetic, Slimane is the pinnacle of all things cool. He’s so cool, in fact, that Karl Lagerfeld famously dropped 60 pounds just to fit into a pair of Slimane skinnies.
It’s great to see Pilati ending his YSL career on a high note (his menswear collection was lauded for its construction and innovation), but eight years at the helm of a big house is a long time. We are excited for some new life and fresh ideas at YSL—fingers crossed they are in the form of Slimane-esque separates.

Dolce & Gabbana takes top honours in our Oscars-style recap of day five in Milan |Hollywood yohana

In celebration of the Oscars, I’ve decided to give out a few awards of my own for day five of Milan Fashion Week. Drum roll, por favor.
BEST SHOW DU JOUR goes to… Dolce & Gabbana. The moving opera soundtrack (ah, I love Pavarotti!), the ornate rose-strewn chandeliers, the heavily embroidered Sicilian-inspired looks (think black and gold, beads, crystals, lace, and jewels); Dolce & Gabbana was the fashion moment of the day!
QUIRKIEST SHOES goes to… Marni’s kabuki soles in velvet with gold metal toecaps.
BEST SKI SWEATER goes to… Ferragamo for its heavy knit version complete with 3-D tube design.
MOST INNOVATIVE FUR goes to… Marni for its hand-cut intarsia fur coats that resemble tweed and piano stripes.
BEST ACCESSORY TO IMPROVE YOUR AURA goes to… Missoni. Think oversized rock crystals hanging from silver tube necklaces.
LOVELIEST SEAT SWAG goes to… Ferragamo. From the front row and all the way back, pale-pink packages of the house’s Signorina eau de parfum were placed on every gilded Chiavari chair.
BEST SET goes to… Missoni. With its grand archways, decorative moldings, and perfect blue sky above, the courtyard into the Missoni show said La dolce vita.
BEST DRESSED goes to… Helen Mirren who arrived at Dolce & Gabbana wearing a gorgeous white lace topper from the Spring collection.
WORST DRESSED goes to… Anna Dello Russo at Marni. Wearing one of Balenciaga’s full coverage noir hats from Spring 2012, this Italian show pony looked strikingly similar to Darth Vader. Light saber not included.