CNTM Episode 2: You have the right to remain stylishly silent | Hollywood yohana
In this episode, we bone up on fashion law, see the girls play stylist and go on a trip to the AGO.
Awwww: The girls return to the penthouse to find Tiffany’s note, adorned with a single tear.
Anvil: They really made a point of
showing what time the girls went to bed (3:00 a.m.) and when they
planned to get up (10:30 a.m.), so of course Nolé arrives at, that’s
right, 6:10 a.m. Ridiculous bonus: He’s dressed as a duty officer, and
has come to “arrest” the girls.
Best bit of pantomime: The models
arrive at a courthouse and Jay whips around, in high court drag, and
informs them they’ve all “violated section J [of course!] 212 of the
fashion code.” As we all know, section J212 states that “it is a Top
Model’s supreme duty to look fffabulous at all times.” Oh my god.
Of course that means it’s makeover day! Widely recognized as one of the best episodes of any Top Model
season. The girls are given looks inspired by style icons like Debbie
Harry, Linda Evangelista and Agyness Deyn. “Sentenced!” Jay says.
Indeed.
Best use of screeching car sounds:
Nikita’s reveal. She looks like she’s going to puke upon seeing her
Bettie-Page inspired blunt bangs. What she fails to realize is that
she’ll now be a rockabilly icon. Jill doesn’t help things by delivering
an oh so sincere, “You look great.”
The biggest change: Rebeccah seems really game for her Agyness Deyn cut, which I love because as my mom always says, “Hair grows.”
Seriously, get over it: Nikita continues to cry and complain about her hair. All night. The girls put a bowl on her head at one point, which is hilarious.
Best teenager moment: All the girls yelling at Ebonie to get off the phone.
Way to twist the knife: The
contestants arrive at H&M for a “dressing yourself” challenge and
Jay marvels at their makeovers. “Some tears? Some pain?” he asks in a
way that is so “You cried right? I know you cried.” Amazing.
We want: to run around H&M trying on clothes right at the rack. (Those change room lines are a nightmare.)
Headslap: “Architect of style” and
today’s guest judge June Ambrose announces, with no hint of irony, “The
style Nazi’s here.” I swear to you I’ve never heard a fashion person
talk like this. Though the looks on Jay’s and June’s faces upon seeing
the outfits the girls came up with I am quite familiar with.
The winner: Rebeccah
The best use of a faux cryptic text message: “Modeling is a balancing act. Can you climb to the top & work your new look?” Gymnastics? Rock climbing? What could it be?
Finally: Male models, shirtless (do they come any other way?) and lolling on ladders at the Art Gallery of Ontario.
Best insider-ish thrill: Seeing all those runway looks on Canadian TV. Marni! Dries! Hooray!
Most comfortable in runway gear:
Despite her whining, Nikita and her angular bangs look amazing with the
super sharp Dolce & Gabbana shoulders. Maryam also looks fantastic
and apparently gives “exotic poses.”
Most awkward: It’s a tie between
Tara, who looks like she’s being eaten by that Marni, and Jill, who
keeps making Nolé laugh with her facial expressions, which is perhaps
not what we’re going for here.
Most existential judging question: Yasmin to Rebeccah re: her Twiggy impression, “Can you do you?”
Most unfortunate use of a great makeover: Linsay may have Linda Evangelista’s hair, but Linda would never forget to look at the camera.
Most upsetting blockage of Belgian design: Maryam doesn’t notice when the male model walks in front of the Dries.
And the Oscar goes to: Jeanne Beker does an “actress” face and then whips out an impression of Heather’s Minnie Mouse voice. Beker, you are on!
Photo of the week: Nikita (hopefully this came with the stipulation that she stop complaining about her hair)
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